Apologies and Policy Change

I have to be honest with you, you one person who visits my blog everyday, there haven’t been many posts lately. Look at the right hand margin. The numbers don’t lie. Not after the beat down I ladled on them after Abstract Alegbra – there are no such things as imaginary numbers. Don’t even try, mathematics. So now they speak the truth – this is my sixth post in May, whereas my goal is around 12 or zero, in case I ever have to go underground because of what I did to those fry cooks. They had it coming.

But my situation is changing. I’m in a transitional state. I was a solid, and I’m going to be a gas, but right now I’m just a liquid. Did that make sense? I copied and pasted it from the Wikipedia article on water. Someone wrote it in the first person to make it easier to understand. But truthfully – I was a student, a layabout, but more importantly, a dependent, and I’m becoming a worker, a doer, and a public notary by way of this mail order course I’m taking. But also I’m becoming an independent.

Not just independent. I had to fill out a W4 for my new job with BYX, working as a national adviser, and I registered that no one else could claim me as a dependent. I’m a man. But I’m also wolf. But only at night.

This doesn’t really explain the gap, though. I was at job training. Now I’m at camp. Camp War Eagle, for kids in Northwest Arkansas. I’m here the whole summer. And while I will try to bring you stories of lovable children and their tears which I collect in small mason jars, it will be hit or miss. Don’t expect the usual output. Anyway, I run this blog for the ad revenue, so I get paid the same whether or not I’m writing.

With that said, I kicked a dog today. Swift, to the jaw, like a home intruder. It tried to bite my side, right below the ribs. I put my foot right underneath his snout and lifted it like my ballet lessons taught me. Okay, that was all a lie. Just the last part. The whole growing up essay was true.

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I Have More Readers Than I Initially Thought

Earlier today I had a post about what I did this weekend. I went to a sorority semi-formal, and in the post I presented my experiences as one mishap after another, ending in resigned celibacy for myself. However, this post made its way back to those very sorority girls who did not think it was very funny. I took it off because I was convicted I had made a mistake in publishing it.

I tell stories here. I embellish and often fabricate. Let’s face it – every day life is not that interesting or funny. If there was a reality show about you, real time, it would be boring, even if you have a job as a volcano diver or T-Rex karate instructor. So the things that happen to me I often edit. I combine events that happened at different times to make it funnier; I combine characters and often change details to make the stories more potent. Most of all, I try to write so that I am made out to be the butt of the jokes.

It was not seen that way with my last post. Events I exaggerated for humor and for the Cass-finishes-last factor were taken literally. But I should not have posted the story to begin with. So this is an apology to those who were offended. Please forgive me.

On a lighter note, it turns out I have more readers than I thought. I thought I was writing to a few fraternity brothers. Apparently someone at Tulsa University reads my blog. Who knew?